This spring, my twin sister, Lori, and her husband, Matt, moved to Illinois.
Great! I thought,
We're in the same state--just a three hour drive away from each other! They visited us over the 4th of July, and Lori came down for a week later that summer. My dream had come true.
But at the end of the summer, Matt was unexpectedly solicited by a stellar consulting firm, and within a few short weeks they had moved to Sacramento, CA! With Adam's grad program wrapping up at the end of this year, I knew that we would be moving soon too. But I had hoped to get at least a few more visits in with my twin and her husband before we left them. Little did I know that they would first leave us!
Then, a few weeks ago, Lori called me. I thought she'd have an update on how they were settling into their new apartment. Instead, she told me that Matt's new company had assigned him to complete a four-week training course in... Chicago! Rather than stay home alone, Lori came out to visit us for two weeks and a few other friends for the remaining two. Two weeks sounded like a long time, but before I knew it I was dropping Lori off to catch her shuttle back to the airport. The time flew by.
Top ten reasons I love it when Lori visits:
10. We talk. And talk and talk.
9. She helps me with the kids.
All day long, every day, morning to night. Enough said. It's
awesome!
8. The kids love playing with her.
They ride bikes together, read books together, sing songs together, and she listens patiently while they tell her the same corny knock-knock jokes over and over. While Jared was at preschool, Lori introduced me and Allison to the Disney station on Pandora.com, and we spent the entire morning dancing in the living room to princess songs. Another day I was running laundry up and down the stairs while Lori and Jared read together on the couch. The next thing I knew, Jared was dragging me over to see his reading chart (the one that I set up to motivate him to practice reading, but which I never stuck to). The chart was completed, and he's now reading words like "seal" "mule" and "sea weed" in our phonics reader book nine. Lori needs to come over more often!
7. My friends get to meet my famed twin :)
Lori attended Church with us last Sunday, and it's always fun to see who remembers her from her last visit, who had never met her and was anxious to see what she looked like, and who had no idea I even had a twin. Friday night was our ward Halloween party and trunk-or-treat. It was fun to have her come to the "best" ward activity of the year!
6. She keeps me company when Adam is gone
The timing for Lori's visit couldn't have been better. The past two weeks have literally been the busiest of the entire year for Adam. So unfortunately, he wasn't home much of the time. But VERY fortunately, Lori was here to save the day (and my sanity!) It was especially great to have her here when Adam was in New York at a job interview.
5. She gets my brain out of mommy mode
Over the years, Lori has helped me reconnect with my English major heritage by discussing the literature she was researching for her master's thesis. Last week we had a Google video book club meeting with some high school friends. We discussed "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua. The book details the life of a Chinese-American family in which the Chinese mother uses extreme authoritarian methods to get her daughters to become overachieving students and concert musicians. As we discussed different approaches to motherhood, we seemed to come to a mutual agreement that it's more important to center your personal goals around the gospel of Jesus Christ. Other outward achievements matter little when compared with learning to become Christlike.
Even though I think Chua is extreme in her parenting methods, as a piano teacher of young students I do agree wholeheartedly with the following quotation:
"What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more" (Amy Chua, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother").
So, moms, make those kids practice!
4. Adam and I get a chance to go out together (alone!)
So Adam and I have always wanted to go to the Lincoln Museum in Springfield, but taking our entire family and driving 1 1/2 hours, then spending three hours in a museum for grown-ups, then driving 1 1/2 hours back home seemed like an exercise in futility. So it remained on our "What we'd like to do before we move away" list...until last week. Lori kindly babysat for us while we went. And it was amazing! For some reason I thought it would be some dusty old museum with relics from Lincoln's presidency. I had no idea it would be so interactive, technologically innovative, and emotionally moving. By the time we left, I think we both felt like we had been given a glimpse of life as seen through Lincoln's eyes. My gratitude for this nation and for the God under which it stands was rekindled.
3. Having Lori here gives us special motivation to get out and do fun things
On Lori's last full day here, we took a day trip to nearby Amish country in the small town of Arthur. After driving south about twenty minutes on I-57, we exited and took a country road through acres and acres of corn fields. It was familiar landscape--until we passed a horse-drawn buggy on the side of the road. Pretty soon we began to see long lines of laundry hanging outside the farmhouses we passed. Eventually we made it to our first destination, Wilson's Kitchens & More. This Amish-run furniture shop was recommended to me by a friend as a fun place to visit. (By the end of our Amish excursion that afternoon, we had passed half a dozen Amish carpentry shops. We could have spent an entire weekend wood shop hopping. I guess that must be a desirable occupation for Amish men.)
We had a great time touring Wilson's. We were greeted by the store clerks--two young Amish women. They were dressed in the standard Amish fashion: straight, plain gray dresses and with their hair tucked up inside a little white cap. They welcomed us and offered us refreshments from a nearby table (coffee and three large bowls full of popcorn and caramel corn). The store was surprisingly large and the furniture was
beautiful. It was all solid wood, hand crafted, and originally elegant. There were bed frames, bedroom sets, kitchen sets, rocking chairs, sofas, high chairs, rocking horses, you name it. The kids were very good about not touching, even though they were mesmerized by the fancy marble machines and wooden race car tracks.
Next we headed over to another place I've always heard about but never gotten around to visiting--The Great Pumpkin Patch. Now we have Curtis Orchard & Pumpkin Patch just 7 minutes from our house, and that's free (we actually took Lori there the previous week), whereas the Great Pumpkin Patch charges admission. But I have to say, it was quite amazing. As Lori commented, that farm "has some attitude." Bizarre decorations ornament every corner of the property--from giant stacks of unusual squashes to weird stuffed people driving an Amish buggy on the roof of the barn to gigantic hay bale people who guard the entrance to the Patch. Jared loved the hay maze, and both kids loved sticking their heads in the photo boards while I took their picture. I personally liked the three little houses in the pigs' pen and the giant pile of squashes (the farm grows 300 varieties on their property!). They also had an original one-room schoolhouse museum, which I found very interesting since I had investigated early Utah schools for a research job at BYU.
No, the farm is not Amish (though I did see an Amish woman working there, and another Amish mother visiting with her four small children--so cute!). But it was very fun to visit.
2. The everyday becomes exciting!
Just waking up in the morning while Lori was here was exciting for the kids. They would sneak downstairs to see if she was awake yet. After breakfast we'd make plans for the day. I'm sure if Jared had his way, we would have done something new every single day! He had big plans for us all during Lori's special visit, including visiting the Orpheum Children's Museum like we had done during her last visit. We also went to Curtis Orchard and to Jared's preschool for the Halloween dress-up day.
1. I get to spend time with my best girlfriend!
Phone, email, and Skype are great, but there's nothing quite like being with your twin sister in person. When we're finally together again after being apart, I feel like I reconnect with my childhood and my individual identity. I'm reminded of where I came from, and, as we talk, she clarifies my perspective on where I'm going.
