"Christmas is What We Make of It"

It’s the week before Christmas. The tree is up, the house is decorated, the kids are anxiously awaiting snow and gingerbread houses and Christmas morning.

In the past, we have switched off going to Adam’s parents’ house and then mine for Christmas. This year, we are spending Christmas Day at home. There are some traditions from our growing-up years that we know we have to keep—like making a gingerbread village, acting out the nativity on Christmas Eve, and filling the room with balloons on Christmas morning. But we know that this is also a chance to make up new traditions.

Another of our favorite traditions is watching the First Presidency Christmas Devotional, usually held on the second Sunday in December. Hearing messages about Christ is a great way for us to start off the holiday season. At this year’s devotional, President Monson shared these this thought:

“I, with you, have witnessed during the past few days and weeks what has become over the years the annual commercialization of Christmas. I’m saddened to see Christmas becoming less and less about Christ and more and more about marketing, sales, parties, and presents. And yet—Christmas is what we make of it.”

We’ve thought a lot about what we could do to keep our family’s Christmas centered around Christ this year. And though we’re all pretty excited about gift-opening on Christmas morning, we’ve come up with a few additional activities that we hope will help keep us focused on Christ and serving others.

Stories of Christ Advent Calendar
I finally finished this advent calendar just seven days before Christmas (better late than never, I guess). To make it, you paint three yard sticks with gold acrylic paint. Then connect them with two mini hinges. Screw some mini eye hooks along the bottom rim. Then hang your scripture cards (I took clip art from the internet to use on the front and then copied relevant scripture verses on the back). It turned out to be a lengthy project, but it will be nice to use in the future.

The Kindness Manger
One tradition from my family is to fill a manger with hay. Each person puts in one piece whenever they do something kind for someone else. Then on Christmas Day we put “Baby Jesus” (a doll) in the soft manger. Our manger is much smaller than the one I used growing up, but the kids love putting in the “hay” (raffia).

Family Caroling
For this week’s Family Home Evening we took the kids caroling at a nearby rest home. To get ready, we practiced singing “Silent Night,” “Up on the Housetop,” and “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” with them the previous couple of weeks. The residents were so happy to see children, and they each sang along to “Silent Night.” Jared and Allison were really patient while we visited the different rooms, and afterward, they seemed happy that they could cheer up so many people. It was a great family activity that we’ll be sure to do again next year.

Those are some of our new family traditions. What traditions help your family focus on Christ during the Christmas season?

Doctoral Celebration

In keeping with lab tradition, Adam's adviser had a congratulatory cake waiting in his office after the defense, along with sparkling cider (the previous grads got champagne). The kids got to come for the fun.

Adam, just moments before defending

The happy family

Dr. Washburn and his adviser, Ryan Bailey

Adam and the Bailey group

On Wednesday and Thursday we took a little family trip to St. Louis to see some sights. Usually when we travel to St. Louis it's to attend the temple, so this time we did family activities instead.

The Magic House
This is the most elaborate children's science museum I've ever seen. We spent four hours there and there was still more to see. From creating giant bubbles to freezing shadows on a fluorescent backdrop, we had a good dose of "science time" together. And the kids loved playing in the imaginary village with its lifelike grocery store, baby hospital, restaurant, and library. No matter how much we explored, there always seemed to be more to discover.

City Museum
We dedicated our second day in St. Louis to exploring the City Museum. We had heard a little about it from one of Adam's lab mates, but we had no idea how amazing it would be. I didn't take as many pictures as I would have liked for fear of losing my camera down a chasm.

If you visit the City Museum, you can look forward to:

-Climbing up caged-in stairways and metal catwalks suspended six stories in the air.
-Crawling through four-foot-wide wire tunnels.
-Sliding down old, restructured air ducts.
-Marching up a 172-step spiral staircase to get to the top of the museum's famed 10-story slide--and then take the 30-second ride down.
-Hopping aboard the Tiny Train express (if you're under 48"), and meeting the tiny man who runs it (he himself is no taller than Jared).
-Trying not to get dizzy as you watch the 30+ bobbins on an 1800s shoelace machine weaving wildly around each other as they create a colorful shoelace.
-Watching magic shows and circus acts in the small circus room located on the third floor.
-Jumping into a giant outdoor ball pit.
-Squeezing through a two-foot opening in the floor and go spelunking in the cement passageways that lurk below museum's floor.
-Wondering at the intricate tile mosaics that bring schools of fish and glittering octopi to life.
-Holding your breath on the museum's rooftop as a circa 1940 ferris wheel lurches forward and swoops to its full height, bringing you towering 13 stories over the city.

We explored Monstro City, an outdoor labyrinth of suspended walkways, giant slinkies, and soldered industrial parts. It takes its climbers six stories into the air (not for those afraid of heights), and sometimes with no more to support you than a soldered web of wires or metal caging. Adam and Jared explored it first, while I did tamer activities with Allison and Thomas. When we switched kids, Jared became my tour guide through Monstro City. He is so small and so fast, it's hard to keep up. He led me to a fire truck about 5 stories up, and showed me his favorite slide. It was made of a ten-foot-wide sheet of metal, and it seemed to form an impossible parabola that dropped straight down fifteen feet before leveling out. "Did you and Dad do this?" I asked Jared. "Yes!" He replied, and without further ado plopped down on the edge of the slide and pushed off. At the bottom he stood up, turned around, put his hands on his hips and called up to me, "Mom, are you scared?" Well, to be honest, I was. But I slid down anyway. It was actually pretty fun.

The only part I didn't like was the school bus on the roof. (You can see it in the picture above.) The front third of it is overhanging the corner of the building. When we got to the roof, we discovered that you can actually go inside the bus, up to the driver's seat... and open the front door! Of course there is a cage around the opening so you can't fall out. But nevertheless, I made sure we didn't linger in that bus for long!

My favorite was the ocean room. Strips of white silk dangle from the ceiling, making it appear as though you are in an underwater cove. You can walk up a ramp into the mouth of a large white plaster whale, which leads to more exotic oceanic statues hidden among twisted tree roots and metal climbing bars. Or, if you like climbing, you can ascend a giant slinkie and disappear into the ceiling (then get around via McDonalds-playground-like tunnels). By the end of the day, everyone's jeans had noticeable wear around the knees, and we were happily exhausted from nonstop climbing and exploring.

(For more photos and some Quicktime panoramic tours of the museum, you can visit their site: http://www.citymuseum.org/site/)


What a great family vacation. It always takes a bit of doing to plan, pack for, and go on trips with young children (and to get them back on a normal sleep schedule afterward), but it was worth it. Now I think I want to move near a metropolis like St. Louis so we can enjoy more big-city attractions!

Dr. Washburn

On Monday, Adam defended his dissertation... and passed! With his committee, his lab mates, and his mom and I in attendance, he gave an hour-long presentation of his research from the past four years. Then the committee dismissed the audience to they could ask him additional questions (or "grill him"). A few minutes later he emerged from the room as Dr. Washburn.

I have some photos from the lab celebration afterward, but due to technical difficulties I'll post those later. I'll also post a few pictures of our family celebration trip to St. Louis once we get back.

Four years have come and gone. I remember when we first arrived in Champaign, just us and two-month-old Jared. Now Adam has a PhD and we have three wonderful children. It's been a very good four years.

Surprise Visit from Lori!

This spring, my twin sister, Lori, and her husband, Matt, moved to Illinois. Great! I thought, We're in the same state--just a three hour drive away from each other! They visited us over the 4th of July, and Lori came down for a week later that summer. My dream had come true.

But at the end of the summer, Matt was unexpectedly solicited by a stellar consulting firm, and within a few short weeks they had moved to Sacramento, CA! With Adam's grad program wrapping up at the end of this year, I knew that we would be moving soon too. But I had hoped to get at least a few more visits in with my twin and her husband before we left them. Little did I know that they would first leave us!

Then, a few weeks ago, Lori called me. I thought she'd have an update on how they were settling into their new apartment. Instead, she told me that Matt's new company had assigned him to complete a four-week training course in... Chicago! Rather than stay home alone, Lori came out to visit us for two weeks and a few other friends for the remaining two. Two weeks sounded like a long time, but before I knew it I was dropping Lori off to catch her shuttle back to the airport. The time flew by.

Top ten reasons I love it when Lori visits:

10. We talk. And talk and talk.

9. She helps me with the kids.
All day long, every day, morning to night. Enough said. It's awesome!

8. The kids love playing with her.
They ride bikes together, read books together, sing songs together, and she listens patiently while they tell her the same corny knock-knock jokes over and over. While Jared was at preschool, Lori introduced me and Allison to the Disney station on Pandora.com, and we spent the entire morning dancing in the living room to princess songs. Another day I was running laundry up and down the stairs while Lori and Jared read together on the couch. The next thing I knew, Jared was dragging me over to see his reading chart (the one that I set up to motivate him to practice reading, but which I never stuck to). The chart was completed, and he's now reading words like "seal" "mule" and "sea weed" in our phonics reader book nine. Lori needs to come over more often!

7. My friends get to meet my famed twin :)
Lori attended Church with us last Sunday, and it's always fun to see who remembers her from her last visit, who had never met her and was anxious to see what she looked like, and who had no idea I even had a twin. Friday night was our ward Halloween party and trunk-or-treat. It was fun to have her come to the "best" ward activity of the year!

6. She keeps me company when Adam is gone
The timing for Lori's visit couldn't have been better. The past two weeks have literally been the busiest of the entire year for Adam. So unfortunately, he wasn't home much of the time. But VERY fortunately, Lori was here to save the day (and my sanity!) It was especially great to have her here when Adam was in New York at a job interview.

5. She gets my brain out of mommy mode
Over the years, Lori has helped me reconnect with my English major heritage by discussing the literature she was researching for her master's thesis. Last week we had a Google video book club meeting with some high school friends. We discussed "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua. The book details the life of a Chinese-American family in which the Chinese mother uses extreme authoritarian methods to get her daughters to become overachieving students and concert musicians. As we discussed different approaches to motherhood, we seemed to come to a mutual agreement that it's more important to center your personal goals around the gospel of Jesus Christ. Other outward achievements matter little when compared with learning to become Christlike.

Even though I think Chua is extreme in her parenting methods, as a piano teacher of young students I do agree wholeheartedly with the following quotation:

"What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more" (Amy Chua, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother").

So, moms, make those kids practice!

4. Adam and I get a chance to go out together (alone!)
So Adam and I have always wanted to go to the Lincoln Museum in Springfield, but taking our entire family and driving 1 1/2 hours, then spending three hours in a museum for grown-ups, then driving 1 1/2 hours back home seemed like an exercise in futility. So it remained on our "What we'd like to do before we move away" list...until last week. Lori kindly babysat for us while we went. And it was amazing! For some reason I thought it would be some dusty old museum with relics from Lincoln's presidency. I had no idea it would be so interactive, technologically innovative, and emotionally moving. By the time we left, I think we both felt like we had been given a glimpse of life as seen through Lincoln's eyes. My gratitude for this nation and for the God under which it stands was rekindled.

3. Having Lori here gives us special motivation to get out and do fun things
On Lori's last full day here, we took a day trip to nearby Amish country in the small town of Arthur. After driving south about twenty minutes on I-57, we exited and took a country road through acres and acres of corn fields. It was familiar landscape--until we passed a horse-drawn buggy on the side of the road. Pretty soon we began to see long lines of laundry hanging outside the farmhouses we passed. Eventually we made it to our first destination, Wilson's Kitchens & More. This Amish-run furniture shop was recommended to me by a friend as a fun place to visit. (By the end of our Amish excursion that afternoon, we had passed half a dozen Amish carpentry shops. We could have spent an entire weekend wood shop hopping. I guess that must be a desirable occupation for Amish men.)

We had a great time touring Wilson's. We were greeted by the store clerks--two young Amish women. They were dressed in the standard Amish fashion: straight, plain gray dresses and with their hair tucked up inside a little white cap. They welcomed us and offered us refreshments from a nearby table (coffee and three large bowls full of popcorn and caramel corn). The store was surprisingly large and the furniture was beautiful. It was all solid wood, hand crafted, and originally elegant. There were bed frames, bedroom sets, kitchen sets, rocking chairs, sofas, high chairs, rocking horses, you name it. The kids were very good about not touching, even though they were mesmerized by the fancy marble machines and wooden race car tracks.

Next we headed over to another place I've always heard about but never gotten around to visiting--The Great Pumpkin Patch. Now we have Curtis Orchard & Pumpkin Patch just 7 minutes from our house, and that's free (we actually took Lori there the previous week), whereas the Great Pumpkin Patch charges admission. But I have to say, it was quite amazing. As Lori commented, that farm "has some attitude." Bizarre decorations ornament every corner of the property--from giant stacks of unusual squashes to weird stuffed people driving an Amish buggy on the roof of the barn to gigantic hay bale people who guard the entrance to the Patch. Jared loved the hay maze, and both kids loved sticking their heads in the photo boards while I took their picture. I personally liked the three little houses in the pigs' pen and the giant pile of squashes (the farm grows 300 varieties on their property!). They also had an original one-room schoolhouse museum, which I found very interesting since I had investigated early Utah schools for a research job at BYU.

No, the farm is not Amish (though I did see an Amish woman working there, and another Amish mother visiting with her four small children--so cute!). But it was very fun to visit.



2. The everyday becomes exciting!
Just waking up in the morning while Lori was here was exciting for the kids. They would sneak downstairs to see if she was awake yet. After breakfast we'd make plans for the day. I'm sure if Jared had his way, we would have done something new every single day! He had big plans for us all during Lori's special visit, including visiting the Orpheum Children's Museum like we had done during her last visit. We also went to Curtis Orchard and to Jared's preschool for the Halloween dress-up day.

1. I get to spend time with my best girlfriend!
Phone, email, and Skype are great, but there's nothing quite like being with your twin sister in person. When we're finally together again after being apart, I feel like I reconnect with my childhood and my individual identity. I'm reminded of where I came from, and, as we talk, she clarifies my perspective on where I'm going.

Heard in the Home

One of the funnest--and funniest--parts of being a stay-at-home mom is getting to listen to all the little-kid speak that goes on around here. Jared and Allison talk up a storm every day, both with me and with each other. Here are some gems that have kept me and Adam laughing...


Cind-a-wella Allison is gearing up for Broadway these days with her love of singing, dancing, and the movies Cinderella and Mary Poppins. She knows nearly all the lyrics to all the Cinderella songs. Though it did take us a while to convince her that Cinderella sings "No matter how your heart is grieving" not "No matter how your heart is greedy." But after a while she caught on. :)

What Goes Around Comes Around I often find myself listening to my own words through the kids' mouths...
Allison: "No, Care Bear. You shouldn't throw toys. That's one. That's two. That's three. Take a time out." (it's nearly an exact impression--right down to the matter-of-fact tone of voice).
Jared: (to Allison, after she asked for milk with her dinner) "I'm sorry, dear, you can't have milk. The doctor says just water at dinner time because milk isn't healthy... it's just a little bit healthy." (Our doctor said that?)


Baby Brother One day Jared paused his playing to comment to me, "Mommy, Thomas is surrounded by love." "You mean we all love him a lot?" "Yeah. He's surrounded by love."

Growing Up? Jared has been thinking a lot about growing up... for a four-year-old. About a month ago he declared to me, "Someday when I'm grown up, I'm going to get married and live in California and have a baby boy. I'll name him Brance." (Well. I never knew he had an interest in CA. I don't think he's ever heard the name "Brance" before, either.) Last week Jared told me as we were getting into our car, "When I'm grown up, before I have a wife, I will get a pickup truck. Then when I have a wife and children I'll get a van." (A practical plan, I must say. When I asked him what color pickup, he said, decidedly, blue.) Then just this week Jared has developed a sudden phobia of growing up. He's brought the subject up once a day for the past couple of days, asking me if he would get to be a baby in my tummy again and then grow up and then be a baby and grow up... When I told him that he got to be a child just once, he was dismayed. Last night he prayed that he would get to be a baby again in my tummy. Afterward I gently suggested that it's good to pray for what we want, but it has to be part of Heavenly Father's plan too. And his plan is for us all to grow up and stay grownups and have children of our own (did I say the right thing?). That news brought him to the verge of tears. He let me give him a hug, then confessed that the reason (or one of the reasons) that he wanted to be a baby again was to see what it was like in my tummy. I assured him that doctors and scientists have taken pictures inside mommies' tummies, and the next morning we could see some of those pictures on the computer. That seemed to pacify him a little. But I think that "seeing inside Mommy's tummy" may not be the root of his concern. A few days earlier he had told me and Adam that he didn't want to be a grownup because "that would make me worried." Maybe meaning that grownups are too serious and worried about lots of things?

Doc & Hoagy It's interesting to see what scenes Jared and Allison pick up from the movies they watch. Lately they have been enjoying the Disney movie Pete's Dragon. It's a story about an orphan, Pete, who is looked after by a friendly dragon. Among the antagonists are a traveling quack doctor, Doc Terminus, and his side-kick, Hoagy, who sing a dramatic song about making "money, money, money by the pound." After bath time, Jared and Allison will don their hooded towels (Jared's dark blue, Allison's a vibrant pink), hold the sides out wide like Doc Terminus does with his red silk cape, and holler, "Oh yeaaaaaaaah! It's money, money, money by the pound!" Allison, especially, sings and wraps her cape around herself with such relish. Well, we certainly couldn't put the original performance on Broadway. But maybe I'll put pants on them one of these days and take a video.

Holy Cracker The other day at snack time we were eating Triscuit crackers. Jared proudly held up his cracker and declared, "It's the temple!" I have to admit, that is the most like the Salt Lake Temple I have ever seen a cracker look. And I've seen a lot of crackers.

Getting Scientific One night, Adam and I were talking about something over dinner. When we glanced at the kids we found them both with their heads pulled inside their collars, their faces pressing out against the inside of their shirts. They flailed about blindly, calling, "I'm a scientist! I'm a scientist!" We couldn't help cracking up. Where in the world did that come from? We've witnessed this scientific display a number of times since. And how they came to think that sticking their heads inside their shirts makes them "scientists" we never will know.



Lunchtime Solace All this talking certainly is entertaining. But combine the three kids, and the sound can be downright clamorous. Such was the case earlier this week. We had just arrived home from a long morning with friends at the park. Everyone was hungry, Thomas was tired, and I was hurrying to put together lunch. Jared and Allison started out in their seats at the table, but as I started pulling food out of the refrigerator, Jared began to migrate toward me, asking whether we could have ketchup on our hot dogs, and do we get buns, and can he have a glass of water? Allison was buckled in her seat, so instead of migrating, she just raised her voice, repeating all of Jared's questions to me, in double the decibels. By this point, Thomas noticed that I had pulled out the Ritz crackers, and he began his food war cry (well, really it's a frantic panting, yelping sound. He is such a quiet baby... except for when he wants food). I stood frozen in the middle of the kitchen floor, hands full of hot dog fixings, unsure of how to proceed. Then I had an idea. I marshaled Jared to his seat, reached for our kitchen speakers, and flipped on Enya. "No talking!" I warned. "Quiet till the song is over!" Silence. All I heard was silence! It was a moment in history worth recording. Apparently I hadn't played Enya for them before because the only words that were spoken during the entire song was an awe-filled whisper from Jared, "Mommy? Is this song about the temple?" When the next tract began to play, Jared and Allison asked eagerly, "What's this song about?" "It's called 'Shepherd Moons'. It must be about the moon." Jared brightened. "Like on the night Jesus was born?" I tried not to smile too much. I guess it's good that they associate reverent, beautiful music with the temple and the gospel. And now I have a new secret weapon to calm the lunchtime frenzies.



Big Daddy Plans This past weekend we listened to General Conference over the internet. In her talk, Sister Elaine Dalton described her childhood memories of meeting her father in the front yard every day after work. She ran to him and he scooped her up, twirled her around, then danced her on his shoes all the way into the house. Jared piped up from the kitchen table where he had been coloring, "That's cool! I want to do that with my daughter." Just twenty more years, Jared, and you can!



Why Are You So Happy? This was the question Adam posed to Allison one day as she sat snuggled in my arms--cheerful as usual. Allison smiled even more and replied, simply, "Because Heavenly Father loves me."

Running Out of Room!

Now that we have five people living in a two-bedroom townhome, things are getting a little tight. The kids' closet is brimming with bags of clothing, the coat closet (which is supposed to be our tornado hideout spot) is constantly overrun with bags, backpacks, and other miscellaneous items. It feels like we are constantly paring down our belongings, but the net number keeps increasing.

Even tighter than storage space is sleeping space. Right now we have Thomas going to sleep in the kids' room at 6:30, Allison going to sleep in our room at 7:00, and Jared going to sleep in the kids' room at 8:00. Then before we go to sleep we move Allison back to her crib in the kids' room and we move Thomas into a pack 'n play in the upstairs bathroom. That seems to work pretty well... at least they all stay asleep until morning. :)

Before we implemented this routine, Jared and Allison went to bed together in their room, and she would frequently keep him awake with her chattering. One night Jared stuffed his pillow under one arm, his toy rabbit under the other, and headed for the door. "I'm outta here," he declared. He went straight into the bathroom, laid down on the floor, and was soon asleep (Allison still chattering in the next room).

About a week after Jared started this bathroom sleeping habit, a friend came over to babysit while Adam and I went out. I blushed as I warned her that Jared might leave his room to go sleep in the bathroom. It does sound pretty weird when you think about it--"My four-year-old often opts to sleep on the bathroom floor." What kind of parents are we, anyway?

The next week we saw Trevor home from his mission in Russia. As he told us about the smaller, humbler apartments that are the norm in Russia, I realized that I was being unduly squeemish about Jared sleeping in the bathroom. How many families in other, less affluent countries would consider their child lucky to have a warm bathroom floor to sleep on? If they had an indoor bathroom at all. Standard of living is so relative (as Adam, who served his mission in the Bay Area, can attest). As I listened to Trevor's stories, and thought back on other missionary friends' accounts, I felt a renewed sense of gratitude. Most people in the world would probably consider our two-bedroom townhome a mini palace. We have two levels and multiple rooms, running water, electricity, a clean and safe neighborhood, and a car. Not to mention great educational opportunities and, most wonderful of all, the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Although I'm still really hoping our next home will have at least three bedrooms, I also hope I can keep my perspective and always be grateful for how temporally blessed we are--whether we are living in a beautiful new subdivision or in a basic apartment. Either way, our blessings are great.