Surprise Visit from Lori!

This spring, my twin sister, Lori, and her husband, Matt, moved to Illinois. Great! I thought, We're in the same state--just a three hour drive away from each other! They visited us over the 4th of July, and Lori came down for a week later that summer. My dream had come true.

But at the end of the summer, Matt was unexpectedly solicited by a stellar consulting firm, and within a few short weeks they had moved to Sacramento, CA! With Adam's grad program wrapping up at the end of this year, I knew that we would be moving soon too. But I had hoped to get at least a few more visits in with my twin and her husband before we left them. Little did I know that they would first leave us!

Then, a few weeks ago, Lori called me. I thought she'd have an update on how they were settling into their new apartment. Instead, she told me that Matt's new company had assigned him to complete a four-week training course in... Chicago! Rather than stay home alone, Lori came out to visit us for two weeks and a few other friends for the remaining two. Two weeks sounded like a long time, but before I knew it I was dropping Lori off to catch her shuttle back to the airport. The time flew by.

Top ten reasons I love it when Lori visits:

10. We talk. And talk and talk.

9. She helps me with the kids.
All day long, every day, morning to night. Enough said. It's awesome!

8. The kids love playing with her.
They ride bikes together, read books together, sing songs together, and she listens patiently while they tell her the same corny knock-knock jokes over and over. While Jared was at preschool, Lori introduced me and Allison to the Disney station on Pandora.com, and we spent the entire morning dancing in the living room to princess songs. Another day I was running laundry up and down the stairs while Lori and Jared read together on the couch. The next thing I knew, Jared was dragging me over to see his reading chart (the one that I set up to motivate him to practice reading, but which I never stuck to). The chart was completed, and he's now reading words like "seal" "mule" and "sea weed" in our phonics reader book nine. Lori needs to come over more often!

7. My friends get to meet my famed twin :)
Lori attended Church with us last Sunday, and it's always fun to see who remembers her from her last visit, who had never met her and was anxious to see what she looked like, and who had no idea I even had a twin. Friday night was our ward Halloween party and trunk-or-treat. It was fun to have her come to the "best" ward activity of the year!

6. She keeps me company when Adam is gone
The timing for Lori's visit couldn't have been better. The past two weeks have literally been the busiest of the entire year for Adam. So unfortunately, he wasn't home much of the time. But VERY fortunately, Lori was here to save the day (and my sanity!) It was especially great to have her here when Adam was in New York at a job interview.

5. She gets my brain out of mommy mode
Over the years, Lori has helped me reconnect with my English major heritage by discussing the literature she was researching for her master's thesis. Last week we had a Google video book club meeting with some high school friends. We discussed "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua. The book details the life of a Chinese-American family in which the Chinese mother uses extreme authoritarian methods to get her daughters to become overachieving students and concert musicians. As we discussed different approaches to motherhood, we seemed to come to a mutual agreement that it's more important to center your personal goals around the gospel of Jesus Christ. Other outward achievements matter little when compared with learning to become Christlike.

Even though I think Chua is extreme in her parenting methods, as a piano teacher of young students I do agree wholeheartedly with the following quotation:

"What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more" (Amy Chua, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother").

So, moms, make those kids practice!

4. Adam and I get a chance to go out together (alone!)
So Adam and I have always wanted to go to the Lincoln Museum in Springfield, but taking our entire family and driving 1 1/2 hours, then spending three hours in a museum for grown-ups, then driving 1 1/2 hours back home seemed like an exercise in futility. So it remained on our "What we'd like to do before we move away" list...until last week. Lori kindly babysat for us while we went. And it was amazing! For some reason I thought it would be some dusty old museum with relics from Lincoln's presidency. I had no idea it would be so interactive, technologically innovative, and emotionally moving. By the time we left, I think we both felt like we had been given a glimpse of life as seen through Lincoln's eyes. My gratitude for this nation and for the God under which it stands was rekindled.

3. Having Lori here gives us special motivation to get out and do fun things
On Lori's last full day here, we took a day trip to nearby Amish country in the small town of Arthur. After driving south about twenty minutes on I-57, we exited and took a country road through acres and acres of corn fields. It was familiar landscape--until we passed a horse-drawn buggy on the side of the road. Pretty soon we began to see long lines of laundry hanging outside the farmhouses we passed. Eventually we made it to our first destination, Wilson's Kitchens & More. This Amish-run furniture shop was recommended to me by a friend as a fun place to visit. (By the end of our Amish excursion that afternoon, we had passed half a dozen Amish carpentry shops. We could have spent an entire weekend wood shop hopping. I guess that must be a desirable occupation for Amish men.)

We had a great time touring Wilson's. We were greeted by the store clerks--two young Amish women. They were dressed in the standard Amish fashion: straight, plain gray dresses and with their hair tucked up inside a little white cap. They welcomed us and offered us refreshments from a nearby table (coffee and three large bowls full of popcorn and caramel corn). The store was surprisingly large and the furniture was beautiful. It was all solid wood, hand crafted, and originally elegant. There were bed frames, bedroom sets, kitchen sets, rocking chairs, sofas, high chairs, rocking horses, you name it. The kids were very good about not touching, even though they were mesmerized by the fancy marble machines and wooden race car tracks.

Next we headed over to another place I've always heard about but never gotten around to visiting--The Great Pumpkin Patch. Now we have Curtis Orchard & Pumpkin Patch just 7 minutes from our house, and that's free (we actually took Lori there the previous week), whereas the Great Pumpkin Patch charges admission. But I have to say, it was quite amazing. As Lori commented, that farm "has some attitude." Bizarre decorations ornament every corner of the property--from giant stacks of unusual squashes to weird stuffed people driving an Amish buggy on the roof of the barn to gigantic hay bale people who guard the entrance to the Patch. Jared loved the hay maze, and both kids loved sticking their heads in the photo boards while I took their picture. I personally liked the three little houses in the pigs' pen and the giant pile of squashes (the farm grows 300 varieties on their property!). They also had an original one-room schoolhouse museum, which I found very interesting since I had investigated early Utah schools for a research job at BYU.

No, the farm is not Amish (though I did see an Amish woman working there, and another Amish mother visiting with her four small children--so cute!). But it was very fun to visit.



2. The everyday becomes exciting!
Just waking up in the morning while Lori was here was exciting for the kids. They would sneak downstairs to see if she was awake yet. After breakfast we'd make plans for the day. I'm sure if Jared had his way, we would have done something new every single day! He had big plans for us all during Lori's special visit, including visiting the Orpheum Children's Museum like we had done during her last visit. We also went to Curtis Orchard and to Jared's preschool for the Halloween dress-up day.

1. I get to spend time with my best girlfriend!
Phone, email, and Skype are great, but there's nothing quite like being with your twin sister in person. When we're finally together again after being apart, I feel like I reconnect with my childhood and my individual identity. I'm reminded of where I came from, and, as we talk, she clarifies my perspective on where I'm going.

Heard in the Home

One of the funnest--and funniest--parts of being a stay-at-home mom is getting to listen to all the little-kid speak that goes on around here. Jared and Allison talk up a storm every day, both with me and with each other. Here are some gems that have kept me and Adam laughing...


Cind-a-wella Allison is gearing up for Broadway these days with her love of singing, dancing, and the movies Cinderella and Mary Poppins. She knows nearly all the lyrics to all the Cinderella songs. Though it did take us a while to convince her that Cinderella sings "No matter how your heart is grieving" not "No matter how your heart is greedy." But after a while she caught on. :)

What Goes Around Comes Around I often find myself listening to my own words through the kids' mouths...
Allison: "No, Care Bear. You shouldn't throw toys. That's one. That's two. That's three. Take a time out." (it's nearly an exact impression--right down to the matter-of-fact tone of voice).
Jared: (to Allison, after she asked for milk with her dinner) "I'm sorry, dear, you can't have milk. The doctor says just water at dinner time because milk isn't healthy... it's just a little bit healthy." (Our doctor said that?)


Baby Brother One day Jared paused his playing to comment to me, "Mommy, Thomas is surrounded by love." "You mean we all love him a lot?" "Yeah. He's surrounded by love."

Growing Up? Jared has been thinking a lot about growing up... for a four-year-old. About a month ago he declared to me, "Someday when I'm grown up, I'm going to get married and live in California and have a baby boy. I'll name him Brance." (Well. I never knew he had an interest in CA. I don't think he's ever heard the name "Brance" before, either.) Last week Jared told me as we were getting into our car, "When I'm grown up, before I have a wife, I will get a pickup truck. Then when I have a wife and children I'll get a van." (A practical plan, I must say. When I asked him what color pickup, he said, decidedly, blue.) Then just this week Jared has developed a sudden phobia of growing up. He's brought the subject up once a day for the past couple of days, asking me if he would get to be a baby in my tummy again and then grow up and then be a baby and grow up... When I told him that he got to be a child just once, he was dismayed. Last night he prayed that he would get to be a baby again in my tummy. Afterward I gently suggested that it's good to pray for what we want, but it has to be part of Heavenly Father's plan too. And his plan is for us all to grow up and stay grownups and have children of our own (did I say the right thing?). That news brought him to the verge of tears. He let me give him a hug, then confessed that the reason (or one of the reasons) that he wanted to be a baby again was to see what it was like in my tummy. I assured him that doctors and scientists have taken pictures inside mommies' tummies, and the next morning we could see some of those pictures on the computer. That seemed to pacify him a little. But I think that "seeing inside Mommy's tummy" may not be the root of his concern. A few days earlier he had told me and Adam that he didn't want to be a grownup because "that would make me worried." Maybe meaning that grownups are too serious and worried about lots of things?

Doc & Hoagy It's interesting to see what scenes Jared and Allison pick up from the movies they watch. Lately they have been enjoying the Disney movie Pete's Dragon. It's a story about an orphan, Pete, who is looked after by a friendly dragon. Among the antagonists are a traveling quack doctor, Doc Terminus, and his side-kick, Hoagy, who sing a dramatic song about making "money, money, money by the pound." After bath time, Jared and Allison will don their hooded towels (Jared's dark blue, Allison's a vibrant pink), hold the sides out wide like Doc Terminus does with his red silk cape, and holler, "Oh yeaaaaaaaah! It's money, money, money by the pound!" Allison, especially, sings and wraps her cape around herself with such relish. Well, we certainly couldn't put the original performance on Broadway. But maybe I'll put pants on them one of these days and take a video.

Holy Cracker The other day at snack time we were eating Triscuit crackers. Jared proudly held up his cracker and declared, "It's the temple!" I have to admit, that is the most like the Salt Lake Temple I have ever seen a cracker look. And I've seen a lot of crackers.

Getting Scientific One night, Adam and I were talking about something over dinner. When we glanced at the kids we found them both with their heads pulled inside their collars, their faces pressing out against the inside of their shirts. They flailed about blindly, calling, "I'm a scientist! I'm a scientist!" We couldn't help cracking up. Where in the world did that come from? We've witnessed this scientific display a number of times since. And how they came to think that sticking their heads inside their shirts makes them "scientists" we never will know.



Lunchtime Solace All this talking certainly is entertaining. But combine the three kids, and the sound can be downright clamorous. Such was the case earlier this week. We had just arrived home from a long morning with friends at the park. Everyone was hungry, Thomas was tired, and I was hurrying to put together lunch. Jared and Allison started out in their seats at the table, but as I started pulling food out of the refrigerator, Jared began to migrate toward me, asking whether we could have ketchup on our hot dogs, and do we get buns, and can he have a glass of water? Allison was buckled in her seat, so instead of migrating, she just raised her voice, repeating all of Jared's questions to me, in double the decibels. By this point, Thomas noticed that I had pulled out the Ritz crackers, and he began his food war cry (well, really it's a frantic panting, yelping sound. He is such a quiet baby... except for when he wants food). I stood frozen in the middle of the kitchen floor, hands full of hot dog fixings, unsure of how to proceed. Then I had an idea. I marshaled Jared to his seat, reached for our kitchen speakers, and flipped on Enya. "No talking!" I warned. "Quiet till the song is over!" Silence. All I heard was silence! It was a moment in history worth recording. Apparently I hadn't played Enya for them before because the only words that were spoken during the entire song was an awe-filled whisper from Jared, "Mommy? Is this song about the temple?" When the next tract began to play, Jared and Allison asked eagerly, "What's this song about?" "It's called 'Shepherd Moons'. It must be about the moon." Jared brightened. "Like on the night Jesus was born?" I tried not to smile too much. I guess it's good that they associate reverent, beautiful music with the temple and the gospel. And now I have a new secret weapon to calm the lunchtime frenzies.



Big Daddy Plans This past weekend we listened to General Conference over the internet. In her talk, Sister Elaine Dalton described her childhood memories of meeting her father in the front yard every day after work. She ran to him and he scooped her up, twirled her around, then danced her on his shoes all the way into the house. Jared piped up from the kitchen table where he had been coloring, "That's cool! I want to do that with my daughter." Just twenty more years, Jared, and you can!



Why Are You So Happy? This was the question Adam posed to Allison one day as she sat snuggled in my arms--cheerful as usual. Allison smiled even more and replied, simply, "Because Heavenly Father loves me."

Running Out of Room!

Now that we have five people living in a two-bedroom townhome, things are getting a little tight. The kids' closet is brimming with bags of clothing, the coat closet (which is supposed to be our tornado hideout spot) is constantly overrun with bags, backpacks, and other miscellaneous items. It feels like we are constantly paring down our belongings, but the net number keeps increasing.

Even tighter than storage space is sleeping space. Right now we have Thomas going to sleep in the kids' room at 6:30, Allison going to sleep in our room at 7:00, and Jared going to sleep in the kids' room at 8:00. Then before we go to sleep we move Allison back to her crib in the kids' room and we move Thomas into a pack 'n play in the upstairs bathroom. That seems to work pretty well... at least they all stay asleep until morning. :)

Before we implemented this routine, Jared and Allison went to bed together in their room, and she would frequently keep him awake with her chattering. One night Jared stuffed his pillow under one arm, his toy rabbit under the other, and headed for the door. "I'm outta here," he declared. He went straight into the bathroom, laid down on the floor, and was soon asleep (Allison still chattering in the next room).

About a week after Jared started this bathroom sleeping habit, a friend came over to babysit while Adam and I went out. I blushed as I warned her that Jared might leave his room to go sleep in the bathroom. It does sound pretty weird when you think about it--"My four-year-old often opts to sleep on the bathroom floor." What kind of parents are we, anyway?

The next week we saw Trevor home from his mission in Russia. As he told us about the smaller, humbler apartments that are the norm in Russia, I realized that I was being unduly squeemish about Jared sleeping in the bathroom. How many families in other, less affluent countries would consider their child lucky to have a warm bathroom floor to sleep on? If they had an indoor bathroom at all. Standard of living is so relative (as Adam, who served his mission in the Bay Area, can attest). As I listened to Trevor's stories, and thought back on other missionary friends' accounts, I felt a renewed sense of gratitude. Most people in the world would probably consider our two-bedroom townhome a mini palace. We have two levels and multiple rooms, running water, electricity, a clean and safe neighborhood, and a car. Not to mention great educational opportunities and, most wonderful of all, the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Although I'm still really hoping our next home will have at least three bedrooms, I also hope I can keep my perspective and always be grateful for how temporally blessed we are--whether we are living in a beautiful new subdivision or in a basic apartment. Either way, our blessings are great.

Welcome Home, Elder Washburn!

Last month we welcomed Adam's youngest brother, Trevor, as he arrived home from his mission in Novosibirsk, Russia! (Siberia)

We got to be there at the airport when he flew in. It was my first time seeing a missionary come home, and it was a neat experience.

Jared was just 2 years old when Trevor left, and Allison was four months old (younger than Thomas is now!) The kids took right to him... I think he's the new favorite uncle.

Meeting Thomas for the first time!

Along with an increased testimony, leadership experience, love of the scriptures and the people of Russia, Trevor brought with him an incredible tolerance for cold as well as...

HATS! ("ushankas") Here Adam's parents are posing as weather-worn Russians. It's interesting to see Trevor's pictures. The missionaries are the only ones ever smiling (or, rather, grinning). Trevor said that's part of a Russian's "public face." They never smile broadly or talk loudly in public.

Two weeks after Trevor got home, we drove back up to Bolingbrook to hear his homecoming talk. So did Jenny and Dave and their girls! Dave had a dental conference, so it worked out for them to fly out from Washington for the weekend. Jared and Allison got to play with their only cousins, and they had a great time.

While we were there, Mom put her kids to work helping her recover the sewing tables.

Lizzie (almost 3) followed Jared around everywhere, and they actually played pretty nicely together (although Jenny did catch a pretty funny video of Jared refusing to share his train with Lizzie, then suggesting she go play in the corner by herself).

Got Skills?

The month of July has come and gone, and now we're ten days into August. How summertime flies! Our family has been keeping busy with various activities, and over the past few months we've each learned something new...


Swimming Skills
Jared has always loved water. After hundreds of nightly baths and a few dozen trips to our community pool, Jared has developed a fearlessness in the water that sometimes unnerves me. He will cannon-ball into the pool as soon as we arrive, and then proceed to do all kinds of flops and flips and dunks and dives, grinning and gasping each time his head emerges. We need some constructive direction to this energy, I thought to myself as I watched his antics become wilder with each pool visit. So this July we put him in swimming lessons at the university. The result? I think we have found his new favorite activity! Some of his new swimming skills include back floating, elementary back stroke (arms and legs together), front crawl arms, and the beginnings of rotary breathing. Jared's teacher, Pat, is a university student who is really good with the kids. There were between 2-5 children in the class on a given day. But Jared didn't get bored waiting for his turn with the teacher. He amused himself by doing continuous head dunks ("Blast offs") in which he would totally submerge himself for 5-7 seconds, then blast up through the water to the surface. His teacher was baffled by his audacity, telling me that he was "bound to become a collegiate swimmer or something." Well, collegiate swimmer or no, at least Jared is having fun in the water... and now he has something productive to work on when we go to the community pool.

Potty Skills
Just as the July heat brought swimming lessons, it also compelled us to stay inside most of the time. That seemed the best wasy to avoid the 110+ degree heat indexes that scorched central Illinois all month. One fine Monday afternoon about three weeks ago, as we were hunkering down at home enjoying our AC, Allison asked to use the potty. I humored her and let her try and, lo and behold, she used it! I thought it was just a lucky fluke. But a few minutes later she used it again! Three weeks, 10 pairs of princess underpants, and a handful of accidents later, Allison is now 90% potty trained. She can go to church, the grocery store, and even Grandma's house in underpants. I bought her a new pack of diapers just four weeks ago... Little did I realize that it would be the last time. Just one baby in diapers now. Woohoo!

Solid Food Eating Skills
This skill set took a little more work to learn. Thomas is now 7 months old and, as we did with Jared and Allison, we tried to start him on baby food at 6 months. It was a TOTAL failure. Whenever the spoon approached, he would clamp his mouth shut and avert his head. And if ever a bite did miraculously make it in, he would wrinkle up his nose, squint his eyes, and spit until he has purged his mouth of the mush. The pediatrician nailed him when she said, "Thomas has just decided that he doesn't like slime." She recommended that we skip the baby food altogether and give him normal solid foods that he can gum. We tried it, and now mealtime is much more pleasant for all of us! His favorites so far are plums and mango (in the mesh baby feeder), hot dog buns, and Baby Mum-Mums (an amazing little rice rusk baby treat that I discovered a few years ago). Mum-Mums today, Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow!

Auto-body Skills
Aspiring auto mechanic that I've always been, my new skill set involves the car. When we first bought our minivan, we noticed some small rust bubbles forming on the front of the hood. Since then I have made several attempts at repairing them--a job that has turned out to be a lot bigger than I expected. (After my first repair job rusted through, I discovered that the hood is rusted on the underside as well. After an hour of grinding away layer after layer of rust on one of our "little rust bubbles," we ended up sanding all the way through the hood!) I learned how to use a dremel and apply rust converter, then body filler, then regular primer, and then, finally, factory-match paint.

Here's what it looks like with 4 coats of the paint. Just a few more to go!

(As a side note, this project has drawn unexpected attention from the male community. As I was out in the parking lot sanding, the father of a nice Muslim family came over and offered to help me, because "it's always good to learn new skills." Another evening three 8-year-old boys crowded around me, asking what my detail sander was and how it worked and whether they could try it out. A few minutes later, the father of a nice African-American family from the other quad approached me. "Are you a mechanic?" he asked in surprise. Then he grinned. "I saw the long extension cord coming out of your door, and I thought to myself, 'I'm going to follow that and see where it leads!' And here you are!" So now you know how to attract the attention of the mechanically-minded in your neighborhood. Just pull out a sander and get to work.



Job Search Skills
I'm not sure how much of these skills Adam already has, but he's going to learn some fast! He is probably graduating in December... if he has a job lined up. He began the job search process this summer, and right now he's open to applying anywhere (though I'm voting we go further west). So if you hear of a microfluidics or bio tech chemistry job in your area, send us word... we could end up moving close to you!

(Here's Adam, hiking Mt. Hood the day after a job interview in Portland)

Just Beyond the Counter

It was naptime at our house, and I had decided to make some cookies while everyone was sleeping. Just a few minutes after I had pulled the last batch out of the oven, I heard Jared coming down the stairs. Knowing he would see the cookies and want one immediately, I looked for a place to hide them. But the pan was too hot for the usual hiding place on top of the refrigerator. Anywhere else would be too low and he’d see them. So I sighed, left the cookies on top of the stove, and began to think instead about whether or not I should let him have one.

Jared mozied on into the kitchen, and I gave him a hug. “What’s that sweet smell?” he asked, blinking and rubbing his eyes. “I was just cooking,” I replied, waiting for him to notice the cookies.

Usually Jared can spot something new in our house within seconds (especially if it involves cars or sweets). But this time it was taking him longer… and longer… and longer than ever to notice the cookies. He must not see them, I had to conclude after three minutes and no request for cookies. I crouched down next to Jared until our eyes were at the same level. Then I looked up at the stove. I was too low to see the cookies! The lip of the cookie sheet was just high enough to conceal its contents from four-year-old eyes. I straightened up and laughed to myself at the sight: Jared standing a foot away from a pan full of chocolate chip cookies, and he didn’t even know it! After a few minutes he left the kitchen and I started on the dishes, still marveling at my revelation. (This opens up worlds of food-hiding possibilities, you know.)

As I thought more about it, I realized what a good analogy this is for life. Lately a number of my friends and family members have experienced various difficulties—things that go wrong and they don’t know why­: the death of a loved one, chronic illness, fruitless job searching, the list goes on. Even Adam and I feel uncertain about what the future will hold for us now that grad school is drawing to a close. Yet isn’t our Father in Heaven—in a way—our omnipotent chef? He has prepared something wonderful and sweet for each of us; experiences and opportunities that are just beyond our reach. And, when the time and circumstances are right, he will lead us to the sweet thing he has prepared. Not too soon, lest we miss out on the test of our faith that precedes the blessing (or, in Jared’s case, not before the cookies had cooled, snack time had arrived, and Allison had woken up to join us).

When we are waiting hungrily in a seemingly barren kitchen, we may be tempted to feel like Heavenly Father has forgotten us or is unaware of our circumstances. But he is always standing right there next to us, viewing our lives with a broad eternal perspective. He sees the challenges that we face, as well as the blessings that are right around the corner—if only we will endure faithfully our small moments of trial and trust in him.