Running Out of Room!

Now that we have five people living in a two-bedroom townhome, things are getting a little tight. The kids' closet is brimming with bags of clothing, the coat closet (which is supposed to be our tornado hideout spot) is constantly overrun with bags, backpacks, and other miscellaneous items. It feels like we are constantly paring down our belongings, but the net number keeps increasing.

Even tighter than storage space is sleeping space. Right now we have Thomas going to sleep in the kids' room at 6:30, Allison going to sleep in our room at 7:00, and Jared going to sleep in the kids' room at 8:00. Then before we go to sleep we move Allison back to her crib in the kids' room and we move Thomas into a pack 'n play in the upstairs bathroom. That seems to work pretty well... at least they all stay asleep until morning. :)

Before we implemented this routine, Jared and Allison went to bed together in their room, and she would frequently keep him awake with her chattering. One night Jared stuffed his pillow under one arm, his toy rabbit under the other, and headed for the door. "I'm outta here," he declared. He went straight into the bathroom, laid down on the floor, and was soon asleep (Allison still chattering in the next room).

About a week after Jared started this bathroom sleeping habit, a friend came over to babysit while Adam and I went out. I blushed as I warned her that Jared might leave his room to go sleep in the bathroom. It does sound pretty weird when you think about it--"My four-year-old often opts to sleep on the bathroom floor." What kind of parents are we, anyway?

The next week we saw Trevor home from his mission in Russia. As he told us about the smaller, humbler apartments that are the norm in Russia, I realized that I was being unduly squeemish about Jared sleeping in the bathroom. How many families in other, less affluent countries would consider their child lucky to have a warm bathroom floor to sleep on? If they had an indoor bathroom at all. Standard of living is so relative (as Adam, who served his mission in the Bay Area, can attest). As I listened to Trevor's stories, and thought back on other missionary friends' accounts, I felt a renewed sense of gratitude. Most people in the world would probably consider our two-bedroom townhome a mini palace. We have two levels and multiple rooms, running water, electricity, a clean and safe neighborhood, and a car. Not to mention great educational opportunities and, most wonderful of all, the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Although I'm still really hoping our next home will have at least three bedrooms, I also hope I can keep my perspective and always be grateful for how temporally blessed we are--whether we are living in a beautiful new subdivision or in a basic apartment. Either way, our blessings are great.

Welcome Home, Elder Washburn!

Last month we welcomed Adam's youngest brother, Trevor, as he arrived home from his mission in Novosibirsk, Russia! (Siberia)

We got to be there at the airport when he flew in. It was my first time seeing a missionary come home, and it was a neat experience.

Jared was just 2 years old when Trevor left, and Allison was four months old (younger than Thomas is now!) The kids took right to him... I think he's the new favorite uncle.

Meeting Thomas for the first time!

Along with an increased testimony, leadership experience, love of the scriptures and the people of Russia, Trevor brought with him an incredible tolerance for cold as well as...

HATS! ("ushankas") Here Adam's parents are posing as weather-worn Russians. It's interesting to see Trevor's pictures. The missionaries are the only ones ever smiling (or, rather, grinning). Trevor said that's part of a Russian's "public face." They never smile broadly or talk loudly in public.

Two weeks after Trevor got home, we drove back up to Bolingbrook to hear his homecoming talk. So did Jenny and Dave and their girls! Dave had a dental conference, so it worked out for them to fly out from Washington for the weekend. Jared and Allison got to play with their only cousins, and they had a great time.

While we were there, Mom put her kids to work helping her recover the sewing tables.

Lizzie (almost 3) followed Jared around everywhere, and they actually played pretty nicely together (although Jenny did catch a pretty funny video of Jared refusing to share his train with Lizzie, then suggesting she go play in the corner by herself).

Got Skills?

The month of July has come and gone, and now we're ten days into August. How summertime flies! Our family has been keeping busy with various activities, and over the past few months we've each learned something new...


Swimming Skills
Jared has always loved water. After hundreds of nightly baths and a few dozen trips to our community pool, Jared has developed a fearlessness in the water that sometimes unnerves me. He will cannon-ball into the pool as soon as we arrive, and then proceed to do all kinds of flops and flips and dunks and dives, grinning and gasping each time his head emerges. We need some constructive direction to this energy, I thought to myself as I watched his antics become wilder with each pool visit. So this July we put him in swimming lessons at the university. The result? I think we have found his new favorite activity! Some of his new swimming skills include back floating, elementary back stroke (arms and legs together), front crawl arms, and the beginnings of rotary breathing. Jared's teacher, Pat, is a university student who is really good with the kids. There were between 2-5 children in the class on a given day. But Jared didn't get bored waiting for his turn with the teacher. He amused himself by doing continuous head dunks ("Blast offs") in which he would totally submerge himself for 5-7 seconds, then blast up through the water to the surface. His teacher was baffled by his audacity, telling me that he was "bound to become a collegiate swimmer or something." Well, collegiate swimmer or no, at least Jared is having fun in the water... and now he has something productive to work on when we go to the community pool.

Potty Skills
Just as the July heat brought swimming lessons, it also compelled us to stay inside most of the time. That seemed the best wasy to avoid the 110+ degree heat indexes that scorched central Illinois all month. One fine Monday afternoon about three weeks ago, as we were hunkering down at home enjoying our AC, Allison asked to use the potty. I humored her and let her try and, lo and behold, she used it! I thought it was just a lucky fluke. But a few minutes later she used it again! Three weeks, 10 pairs of princess underpants, and a handful of accidents later, Allison is now 90% potty trained. She can go to church, the grocery store, and even Grandma's house in underpants. I bought her a new pack of diapers just four weeks ago... Little did I realize that it would be the last time. Just one baby in diapers now. Woohoo!

Solid Food Eating Skills
This skill set took a little more work to learn. Thomas is now 7 months old and, as we did with Jared and Allison, we tried to start him on baby food at 6 months. It was a TOTAL failure. Whenever the spoon approached, he would clamp his mouth shut and avert his head. And if ever a bite did miraculously make it in, he would wrinkle up his nose, squint his eyes, and spit until he has purged his mouth of the mush. The pediatrician nailed him when she said, "Thomas has just decided that he doesn't like slime." She recommended that we skip the baby food altogether and give him normal solid foods that he can gum. We tried it, and now mealtime is much more pleasant for all of us! His favorites so far are plums and mango (in the mesh baby feeder), hot dog buns, and Baby Mum-Mums (an amazing little rice rusk baby treat that I discovered a few years ago). Mum-Mums today, Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow!

Auto-body Skills
Aspiring auto mechanic that I've always been, my new skill set involves the car. When we first bought our minivan, we noticed some small rust bubbles forming on the front of the hood. Since then I have made several attempts at repairing them--a job that has turned out to be a lot bigger than I expected. (After my first repair job rusted through, I discovered that the hood is rusted on the underside as well. After an hour of grinding away layer after layer of rust on one of our "little rust bubbles," we ended up sanding all the way through the hood!) I learned how to use a dremel and apply rust converter, then body filler, then regular primer, and then, finally, factory-match paint.

Here's what it looks like with 4 coats of the paint. Just a few more to go!

(As a side note, this project has drawn unexpected attention from the male community. As I was out in the parking lot sanding, the father of a nice Muslim family came over and offered to help me, because "it's always good to learn new skills." Another evening three 8-year-old boys crowded around me, asking what my detail sander was and how it worked and whether they could try it out. A few minutes later, the father of a nice African-American family from the other quad approached me. "Are you a mechanic?" he asked in surprise. Then he grinned. "I saw the long extension cord coming out of your door, and I thought to myself, 'I'm going to follow that and see where it leads!' And here you are!" So now you know how to attract the attention of the mechanically-minded in your neighborhood. Just pull out a sander and get to work.



Job Search Skills
I'm not sure how much of these skills Adam already has, but he's going to learn some fast! He is probably graduating in December... if he has a job lined up. He began the job search process this summer, and right now he's open to applying anywhere (though I'm voting we go further west). So if you hear of a microfluidics or bio tech chemistry job in your area, send us word... we could end up moving close to you!

(Here's Adam, hiking Mt. Hood the day after a job interview in Portland)

Just Beyond the Counter

It was naptime at our house, and I had decided to make some cookies while everyone was sleeping. Just a few minutes after I had pulled the last batch out of the oven, I heard Jared coming down the stairs. Knowing he would see the cookies and want one immediately, I looked for a place to hide them. But the pan was too hot for the usual hiding place on top of the refrigerator. Anywhere else would be too low and he’d see them. So I sighed, left the cookies on top of the stove, and began to think instead about whether or not I should let him have one.

Jared mozied on into the kitchen, and I gave him a hug. “What’s that sweet smell?” he asked, blinking and rubbing his eyes. “I was just cooking,” I replied, waiting for him to notice the cookies.

Usually Jared can spot something new in our house within seconds (especially if it involves cars or sweets). But this time it was taking him longer… and longer… and longer than ever to notice the cookies. He must not see them, I had to conclude after three minutes and no request for cookies. I crouched down next to Jared until our eyes were at the same level. Then I looked up at the stove. I was too low to see the cookies! The lip of the cookie sheet was just high enough to conceal its contents from four-year-old eyes. I straightened up and laughed to myself at the sight: Jared standing a foot away from a pan full of chocolate chip cookies, and he didn’t even know it! After a few minutes he left the kitchen and I started on the dishes, still marveling at my revelation. (This opens up worlds of food-hiding possibilities, you know.)

As I thought more about it, I realized what a good analogy this is for life. Lately a number of my friends and family members have experienced various difficulties—things that go wrong and they don’t know why­: the death of a loved one, chronic illness, fruitless job searching, the list goes on. Even Adam and I feel uncertain about what the future will hold for us now that grad school is drawing to a close. Yet isn’t our Father in Heaven—in a way—our omnipotent chef? He has prepared something wonderful and sweet for each of us; experiences and opportunities that are just beyond our reach. And, when the time and circumstances are right, he will lead us to the sweet thing he has prepared. Not too soon, lest we miss out on the test of our faith that precedes the blessing (or, in Jared’s case, not before the cookies had cooled, snack time had arrived, and Allison had woken up to join us).

When we are waiting hungrily in a seemingly barren kitchen, we may be tempted to feel like Heavenly Father has forgotten us or is unaware of our circumstances. But he is always standing right there next to us, viewing our lives with a broad eternal perspective. He sees the challenges that we face, as well as the blessings that are right around the corner—if only we will endure faithfully our small moments of trial and trust in him.

Fun with Lori and Matt

It's finally happened: at long last my twin sister and I live in the same state! A few weeks ago Lori wrapped up her teaching at BYU and flew out to join her husband, Matt, who has a new job at AgCo in Batavia, IL. Though they're still in the midst of organizing their new apartment, they took time off to come down and visit us this weekend!

On Friday night, we met in Gibson City to see Cars 2 at the drive-in theater. It was great fun as always, with about ten other Mormon families, lawn chairs, treats, balls, frisbees, and fireflies.

Harvest Moon Drive-In. We'll miss it when we move!

Waiting for the movie to start

Matt and Lori made it!


On Saturday we took a walk through Meadowbrook Park (on an extremely hot and humid day--it made us all thankful for central air), went swimming at the Winfield pool, and introduced Matt to an Illinois classic: Papa Dell's deep-dish pizza. The next day we all went to church, where people finally got to see the twin sister... who doesn't actually look like me. :)

Hot walk, cool people. ;)

The kids really took to Matt. Whenever Allison lost track of him, she would say, "Where is Matt? Where is Matt?"

It was great to have them here for so long and to re-introduce the kids to them. Now I'm looking forward to next week: Lori is planning to come down and keep me company while Adam flies to Portland for a job interview with Intel.

Happy Birthday, Jared!

Just catching up on June events... Jared had his fourth birthday earlier in the month. We celebrated with a volcano birthday party!

Now that he's four, Jared has been reminding us of all the perks of being four, such as, "I need four carrots because I'm four" and "Four-year-olds don't get scared of dogs" and "You can't pour the milk, Allison, because you're just two. But I'm four." Happy birthday to a big four-year-old.

Reflections on Motherhood

Some really good vibes must have been circulating through our house Friday, because that night I did the unthinkable: I took all three children, by myself, to a restaurant. I think this is the biggest violation ever of my “Rules of Three”—a code of conduct I drafted for myself in a moment of motherly distress (I think it was about a month before Thomas was born, after a fiasco at the dollar store in which I unwisely let the children roam free, resulting in dozens of items pulled from the shelf and earsplitting meltdowns over the mylar balloons) in hopes of reducing motherly anxiety and fatigue. The code includes a list of places I can and cannot take the children:

Where I can take all three:
• The toy room/playground
• Tolono Library
• Parks
• Orpheum Children’s Museum
• Curtis Orchard
• All Things Kids
• A friend’s house

Where I cannot take all three:
• Any grocery store (Aldi, Wal Mart, Meijer, etc.)
• Any other store except for All Things Kids
• The doctor’s office

A few more rules, and the document ends with Elder Uchtdorff’s prophetic admonition: “Slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials.”

Granted I didn’t include “restaurants” on my list of cannots, but that was already a given. I did set an expiration date for these rules: May 22, my birthday. By then I could reevaluate the three-kid situation and maybe make some changes to my rules. So really, this wasn’t a blatant violation because my birthday is in two days, and it was my “free bowl of birthday noodles” at Noodles and Company that prompted this wild idea in the first place. Adam was at a church meeting for the evening, and I was excited by the prospect of not having to do any dishes. So that morning I promised the kids a trip to “a restaurant” for dinner if they would help me clean the house, which they did.

Fortunately (for me and for my children’s future desires to eat at restaurants), Jared and Allison were very well-behaved. They enjoyed their bowls of mac and cheese, and the worst that happened was Allison sprinkling the salt and pepper all over her side of the table (and trying to lick it up). Overall they were well-behaved, and people smiled at us and we happily ate our noodles. It was a nice evening away.

The restaurant is situated near Wright and Green Street, the heart of campus town. It was very interesting to be in a place so filled with young people. Whenever I walk through UIUC campus, I feel somewhat conspicuous. Most of the girls around me look about my age, but while they are carrying purses and books and iPods, I am carrying a diaper bag and holding two little hands. This time was no different; I felt like I aged ten years as I pulled my minivan into a parking spot next to some sporty sedans (and some not-so-sporty sedans) and as students passed while I worked to assemble my double stroller. Walking through campus also causes me to reflect on my current life as a mom. Although I loved taking classes in college, and the “carefree” single life had its good moments, I wouldn’t trade motherhood for all the college fun in the world. My husband and children are the greatest joy in my life.

Unfortunately, I don’t always let those feelings show. Sometimes when I’m introduced to someone new who isn’t a member of the LDS church and they ask what I “do,” I say, “I’m a stay-at-home mom.” And then I find myself adding, “and I also do editing from home, and teach piano lessons, and…” Really, these things are a very minute part of my current “occupation.” But sometimes I feel like I need to add something more to my identity to keep others from thinking, What does she do all day?

But I don’t need to feel that way. I love this quote from Elder Quentin L. Cook, a living apostle and witness of Jesus Christ:

“No woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children. Nothing could be more significant in our Father in Heaven’s plan.” Wow. What a great reminder of the eternal importance of our role as mothers.

Speaking of mothers, here are a couple more of my favorite motherhood quotes:

“A mother has far greater influence on her children than anyone else, and she must realize that every word she speaks, every act, every response, her attitude, even her appearance and manner of dress affect the lives of her children and the whole family. It is while the child is in the home that he gains from his mother the attitudes, hopes, and beliefs that will determine the kind of life he will live and the contribution he will make to society.” (N. Eldon Tanner, 1977)

No pressure, moms! It’s a good thing we don’t have to do our job alone. The next quote is by President Spencer W Kimball. I discovered it in a little book at the BYU library when I was newlywed and refer to it often.

“Many people in the Church do not have the right concept of a child. They think that he is a personality to play with, to dress, to enjoy, to have, to hold. They never think seriously about the tremendous responsibility of developing that little spirit without earthly knowledge into a fit subject for the kingdom of God.

“We do not rear children just to please our vanity. We bring children into the world to become kings and queens, and priests and priestesses for our Lord.” (Spencer W. Kimball, A Prophet’s Voice)

Let’s never forget the eternal significance of motherhood. And when the world is confused over women’s roles and the value of family and children, I hope the mothers of the world will champion their divine role. As the First Presidency of the Church wrote in 1942, “Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.”