Why do you blog? And what do you blog about? Do you blog to tell a story--the story of your exploits as a _________ (Fill in the blank. Mother, student, etc.)? Do you blog for the sheer enjoyment of writing? To keep friends and family abreast of what's going on in your life? Or, if you were to search your soul a little deeper, would you find that you are blogging about your lifestyle to impress your readers? To give the impression that your life is perfect—filled with themed birthday parties, crafts, home deco projects, and perfectly-behaved, brilliantly-minded, clean and obedient children?
If that is the case, you may be contributing to the depressed mom blogreader syndrome. According to some, this is a condition caused when mothers blog only about positive events in their lives. And they do it intentionally, to put on a façade of perfection. Then other moms—the real moms, the down-in-the-trenches moms who are struggling with rowdy children, messy homes, hectic schedules, and not enough time or energy to do everything and be everything they wish they could and think they should be—these moms read such blogs, feel like their own imperfect lives don't measure up, and they feel depressed.
Whenever I think about this blogger dilemma, I begin to hyper analyze my posts. Are my posts too happy? Should I be writing more about my problems? I hope that what few readers I have realize that when I publish my monthly or bi-monthly post, a lot has happened since the previous post. A lot ranging from good to bad to in between. I hope they don't think that all I ever do is attend family weddings, buy minivans, and make Mini Mouse cakes for my two-year-old daughter. How superficial. That's certainly not my life.
The more I think about it, the more I begin to understand how this problem comes to be. Sure there may be some moms who blog with the intent of putting on a face, but more often than not such an outcome is probably unintentional. And it all goes back to why moms blog. Imagine: you are the aforementioned mother of rowdy children, a messy home, a hectic schedule, and not enough time or energy to do everything you would like. Are you going to sit down at the end of a difficult day and spend your precious free time blogging about how frazzled you feel?
And anyway, what about President Hinckley's admonition to "accentuate the positive"?
You may have heard that it takes 5 positives to cancel out 1 negative. But did you know that it takes 20 positives to 1 negative to equal happiness? It's true, according to a posting I found on BabyFit.com (a posting written by a MOM, I will add). Though it can be therapeutic to vent, your "vent posts" had better be infrequent or your blog will quickly adopt a negative feel, and you'll probably lose readers. So let's do the math. If you write a new post every week of the year, that's 52 posts. And only 2.6 of them can be negative if you are going to follow the 20-to-1 ratio and maintain happy blog milieu. Considering I post about twice a month, that leaves me room for only one negative post per year. (So when that annual posting finally comes along, watch out. It's going to be a doozy.)
Back to my original question: What should I write about? I've found that I most enjoy writing about funny family incidents. I most enjoy reading other blogs that explore interesting ideas and then solicit feedback from their readers. Recently I've grappled with the possibility of turning my blog into a journal substitute (My journal writing has plummeted since having kids). But while that may work for some, I don't think it's right for me. What I would write in a private journal I wouldn't publish in a public venue. And anyway, who wants to read every detail of our family life? Not you, I'm sure!
As I discussed the conundrum of "what to write about" with Adam last night, he reminded me of one of our favorite quotes by Elder Douglas L. Callister, spoken at his 2006 BYU devotional: "Refinement in speech is reflected not only in our choice of words but also in the things we talk about. There are those who always speak of themselves, and they are either insecure or proud. There are those who always speak of others. They are usually very boring. There are those who speak of stirring ideas, compelling books, and inspiring doctrine. These are the few who make their mark in this world."
I think Elder Callister has the right idea. It's a little terrifying (Okay, I'll be honest. It's extremely terrifying.) because I don't exactly consider myself to be a wellspring of stirring ideas, but I have noticed that I feel the most enriched and refreshed after an engaging discussion with my husband about an idea, a problem, or a potential solution. A few months ago we scraped together our pennies and went on a date to Timpones, an elegant little restaurant in campustown just off Oregon and Goodwin. The crowd there is very different from what you might encounter at Chile's, Olive Garden, or even Biaggi's. The average age there was about 50, and I was surprised to realize that most parties were not couples but groups of four to six. These people did not come for a romantic evening away. They were largely professors, gathered to enjoy uncommon cuisine and talk about (and I quote my husband) "bright ideas and funny things." It felt so refreshing to be surrounded by these intelligent, interesting people. It almost made me want to convince Adam to change his plans and become a professor (almost).
Although my ideas will probably never rival those of the Timpone's crowd, and admitting that I will still write an occasional post about birthday cakes and minivans, I have made up my mind to write more about "bright ideas and funny things"... in hopes of cultivating the former and celebrating the latter.
So what are your opinions? What do YOU write about?
